


wild heart

by youngjo



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Pining, disjointed timeline
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:20:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28282332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youngjo/pseuds/youngjo
Summary: Four times San couldn't say 'I love you,' and the one time he didn't need to.
Relationships: Choi San/Jeong Yunho
Comments: 3
Kudos: 62





	wild heart

**Author's Note:**

> hewwoooo! this is for the writiny secret santa exchange!
> 
> to my santee, I hope you like it! I'm not that great with friends to lovers aus so this was definitely a challenge!!
> 
> hope you enjoy!!

They met when they were kids.

Born and raised on the same street, it was natural their gravity crashed together and formed one sphere. San could barely remember a time before Yunho. He had always been there. From their first day of school to the first birthday parties he could recall. There had never been a time without him. 

San could attribute many things to Jeong Yunho. 

He was kind, funny, charismatic, and empathetic. It had been no surprise that Yunho became quite popular. He was loved by everyone, rightfully so. And, inevitably, he became the center of San’s world. 

Most people say when they fall in love that it’s a dive. Slow or fast, still a dive, one that can be felt. San wasn’t sure if he had, or even could, recognize the signs. He just knew that one day he had not known his love for Yunho and then the next it washed over him swiftly. Well, more like he had woken up with wide eyes and understanding burning hot in his veins, for the flutter in his heart and the jumpy feeling in his stomach hadn’t been a sickness at all. No, he was in love, and it was the first time San was forced to face his questions of sexuality and identity on top of dealing with how to process his feelings for Yunho. 

Needless to say, high school was a rough time for one Choi San.

Young, dumb, and in love, San dealt with it the only way he knew how. Books and movies could only do so much to prepare you for the real thing. In real life, there were no magical princes to whisk you away or glass slippers to lead your true love back to you. San thought about asking his father for love advice in the beginning but having to explain just who he was crushing on wasn’t something he felt comfortable doing just yet. So San felt it out alone, using whatever books, movies, and more he could find for reference.

Yunho could tell something was wrong even when they were kids. He asked once or twice, tried to pry with ‘you can tell me anything,’ but San didn’t budge. Eventually, Yunho left it alone and they settled back into about as normal as they could be with San trying not to blush whenever Yunho smiled at him. Everything took on a new meaning after that. Yunho’s smiles were softer in San’s eyes, sending his heart aflutter. In the past, Yunho would wipe excess food away from his mouth and San thought nothing of it. Now it took all of his strength to keep a straight face. 

San was in hell, but nothing had been worse than the week his bike chain had broken. In waiting for the replacement part, Yunho had offered San a ride via the spokes on the back. Flying down the road with the wind in their hair, sun peeking over the horizon and their laughter dispersing into the morning air, San knew he was doomed. 

Three months before they were due to graduate, San sat down to write a letter. He knew he should’ve done it in person but his confidence was a flower still needing room to bloom. The idea came from a trashy romance novel his mother had left lying around. It was cheesy and lacked all the finesse a true letter of confession should’ve, but it also allowed San to fully understand and come to terms with his feelings. Well, to a point, though if anything it only served to spiral him into even more confusing feelings. 

Standing at Yunho’s locker the next day, letter in one hand and fingers of the other brushing against the cool metal handle, he hesitated. Perhaps it was his fear of rejection or perhaps it was fear of losing his best friend. San had no answer that day but his hands still fell with heavy weight at his sides, letter trembling against his thigh. He tucked it back into his backpack and carried on with his day, the rest of it filled with an upset stomach and weird little flutters in his heart whenever Yunho smiled at him.

And life carried on, in its own way.

—————— xxx —————

The next year passed in a blur. San took a step from Yunho’s locker and passed into the entrance of a college dormitory. Without trying, the two of them landed at the same place, their friendship unchanged and San’s stomach still swimming with feelings wishing they could be free. They branched out in their own ways, San finding a friend in someone named Jung Wooyoung, whereas Yunho introduced him to an equally chaotic guy from his dance class named Song Mingi. The four of them fell into the same orbit and San could use the flow of their lives for a distraction—at least for a short while.

The second time his feelings boiled over wasn’t gradual like the first. He still loved Yunho of course, but with schooling and a new part time job to keep him busy, San was able to pretend for a bit. But it never went away and he never wanted it to. He was still young and naive about love even with new access to movies and books he’d never seen before. So he played it out how he wanted to, even if that meant stumbling through on legs akin to a newborn fawn.

They were at a party, invited there by a friend of Mingi’s. The house belonged to the guy’s parents or something, meaning they had a rather large area to explore, complete with a pool in the backyard. San wasn’t shy but he also wasn’t great around complete strangers. He spent most of the night in the corner, clutching a bottle of water and trying his best to mingle when someone else acknowledged him. It wasn’t the greatest party by a long shot. Most of the attendees would agree, especially when the keg fell over and spilled all over the host’s kitchen. For San, however, that party became a memory to treasure and cling to.

Nothing particular had triggered it. Rather, it was collective.

Escaping from the chaos of the house, San found himself outside. He hadn’t been particularly on the hunt for Yunho but it appeared his heart had been. The backyard was illuminated by a combination of overhead moonlight, various solar lights scattered about, and the lights inside the massive inground pool. There were fewer people out back, offering a breath of fresh air and a break from the thumping base inside. 

San didn’t believe in Disney style theatrics but that night tried its best to convince him of such.

Eyes traveling slowly over the fenced backyard, they eventually landed upon the pool quivering with waves. Moonlight from above rippled through them, catching his attention fully, until San noticed the source of them. His mouth ran dry as the person broke through the surface, hand sliding through their hair as drops of water sparkled around them. San forgot how to breathe for a moment as he realized it was Yunho, chest bare and frame glowing. 

“Sannie!” He had exclaimed, swimming to the edge of the pool. “How’s the party?”

_ Perfect, now that you’re here. _ “It’s good. A little noisy, but good,” he’d replied, crouching by the pool’s edge.

“You should stay out here with me,” Yunho said with a smile. “Go for a night swim while you can.”

“Oh, um, sure,” San murmured.

And when Yunho leaned it too close that night, close enough for San to smell the alcohol on his breath and his brain to go wild with possibilities, San tried desperately to grasp his opportunity.

Just as the words pressed to his lips, Mingi called a hello from the other side of the pool. The moment passed, and San was left to watch Yunho’s back as he swam away, the void between them filling just enough to keep him afloat.

—————— xxx —————

“See you guys tomorrow!” San called out, pulling his umbrella free from its locker.

“Later, San!” Yeosang replied, throwing a wave around the corner. 

The music from inside the bookstore could still be heard, the smell of new pages mixed with the warmth of fresh coffee. Just beyond the door, rain pattering against the glass filled in any missing gaps of sound. It was a quaint place but San loved it nonetheless, even if it felt very particular to his interest in romance novels. (He got to read plenty of those nowadays too.) 

Still, it wasn’t easy juggling a job on top of school. The darkness under his eyes, the hesitation in his steps, the trembling of his fingers—it was all noticeable if you knew where to look. San managed to hide it fairly well though. He was an expert at keeping things on lockdown after all. 

Throwing an invisible smile at the far wall, San popped his umbrella out the door and stepped into the pelting rain. Outside contained a whole new range of smells. Wet pavement, damp bark, soaked soil. Their city was big—it had to be with their college in the near center—but it still lacked the side effects of big modernization. He appreciated that. San often took his time walking home nowadays, soaking in the calm before he was thrust back into schoolwork and all the feelings waiting for him within his dorm room walls. 

It’d only been a month since the party but the after effects still had him reeling. He couldn’t get the image of Yunho in the pool out of his head, hair slick with water and the droplets around his eyes making them sparkle. It was normal to feel that way about your crush though, at least according to movies, but that didn’t make it any easier to deal with. Things were tougher when the duo met up every other day for study time, resulting in glimpses of Yunho’s pretty smile and his laughter echoing through the study hall. How no one noticed the heat in San’s cheeks and the fidgeting of his fingers was beyond him.

San’s mind spiraled back into the present, kicking a pebble down the sidewalk. Rain pattered lightly against his umbrella, little droplets disturbing the surfaces of puddles along the way. His reflection in the windows of shops caught his good mood in fragmented accuracy. He was in a fairly good mood that evening even though nothing exciting had happened. Having the next day off was a factor though; he was looking forward to binging the latest novel by one of his favorite authors. Assuming his phone didn’t light up with a notification from one Jung Wooyoung.

San kicked the previous pebble again, watching it skitter further down his path. The moment it landed, wind began to pull at his clothes. It picked up within seconds, San barely able to process what was happening before it did, and his umbrella whipped back with the wind. The top stained against it for a moment but ultimately lost the fight, inverting on itself and leaving San to be pelted with raindrops under the wind’s harsh speed. He snatched the top and tried in vain to bend it back into normalcy to no avail; the metal had been bent. Glancing around quickly, San hurried to an awning of a nearby shop as the wind settled back down.

“Well that’s unlucky,” he whined, still trying to tug the umbrella back into place. He peered out into the cloudy sky with a sullen expression. It was still a good fifteen to twenty minute walk until he reached the dormitory, meaning he could either wait the rain out or risk soaking wet clothes and ruin his phone. Neither option was appealing but San didn’t fancy walking home in a downpour. So, with a heavy sigh, he leaned back against the closed shop’s window and tried in vain to fix his umbrella.

Before he knew it, ten minutes had passed and the rain showed no sign of stopping. Annoyed with his umbrella, San tossed it into a nearby trash can and lingered in the rain. It pattered against his shoulders, landing uncomfortably in his hair. His sigh was swallowed up by the sound of an approaching car. It drove by, wind pulling at his clothes, before San noticed it slow to a halt several feet away. The window rolled down, a head poking out from within. Wait, was that …?

_ Yunho! _

“What are you doing standing in the rain?”

San blinked dumbly for a moment. “Not getting any drier, that’s for sure.”

Yunho laughed, the sound reaching him even with the distance. “Need a ride?” 

His feet started moving before he finished answering. “Hell yeah. Umbrella broke on me!”

“Then hop in before the rain picks up again!”

San obeyed, sliding down the side of Yunho’s car and popping the door open. He slid into the passenger seat and closed the door, rubbing his cold hands together. It wasn’t much in the way of vehicles, just an old black two door his father had passed down, but Yunho still took care of the poor thing. Tolerated no disrespect either, rightfully so. 

“You look rough. Said your umbrella broke on you?” Yunho asked as he waited for San to pop his seatbelt on. Once done, he started off down the road.

“Yeah, wind popped it right back. I needed a new one anyway so I guess it just helped,” he replied, holding his fingers in the path of hot air from the heating vent.

“Still! It’s a good thing I came this way!” Yunho laughed.

San glanced at him, leaning back into the seat. “Are you visiting someone?” Mingi, perhaps? He did live the opposite direction. 

Yunho shook his head. “No, I was out shopping. Now I’m on my way to pick up dinner; ordered a pizza from that new place down the street.” He tilted his head to look at him but only for a moment. “Wanna try it with me?”

“Say no to free pizza? What kinda question is that?” He laughed back, watching the way light accumulated in Yunho’s pretty eyes. The other man’s lips quirked into a smile, making San’s heart flutter in his chest, and he forced himself to look away. 

“Great! Pizza first, then we can head back to your dorm?” Yunho nudged him gently with his elbow. “Maybe play some games? I’ve gotten better you know; bet I can kick your ass now!”

“Is that a challenge?” San teased.

“You get! Loser buys the next pizza.”

“You’re on!”

The car exploded into laughter, fondness growing evermore within him. They fell into silence for a moment, the faint sound of the radio filling the space between them.

“Hey, Yunho,” he said without thinking. His teeth sank into his tongue immediately after.

“Yeah? What is it?” Yunho replied.

_ I love you. _

San took a deep breath. “Thanks for the lift.”

“Of course! What are friends for, right?”

“Yeah!” He replied, chuckling uneasily. If Yunho noticed, he made no indication. 

His heart squeezed painfully tight the rest of the evening.

—————— xxx —————

"I'm with a friend, honest." San took a breath, refusing to back down. "I was invited."

The bouncer lifted a brow, staring down at him; the man was unamused. "If I had a dollar for every time I heard that one, I wouldn't have to work here anymore."

"His name is Jeong Yunho? He's dancing tonight," San insisted.

The bouncer managed to look even more unimpressed with him. "Most popular guy on the scene and you expect me to belie—"

"Geonhak! He's with me."

San peered around the now named bouncer, eyes landing upon Mingi. He was caught off guard. brain glossing over Geonhak's 'most popular guy' comment for the moment.

Geonhak sighed and stepped to the side to allow him entry. "Sorry about that. Go ahead."

He accepted the invitation and slid into the makeshift club. Really it was a rectangle of space sectioned off by several ropes with lights scattered about the edges and a tiny bar to the right. Still didn't stop the atmosphere from hitting him immediately, the sickly sweet smell of alcohol assaulting his nose. Music thumped against the concrete, the crowd on the other side whooping in excitement.

"We were wondering if you got lost," Mingi greeted. "Sorry about Geonhak. He takes his job a little too seriously." 

"Don't worry about it. It's a club; I understand," he replied back. 

San had only known Mingi for less than three months, but he already felt like it'd been years. Not because Mingi was tiring or anything. He just had a way with people, of making them feel comfortable even if they'd only just met. His charisma was off the charts so it totally made sense for him to be a street performer. But not just any street performer.

One of the best—a duo with none other than Yunho.

San had, obviously, known of Yunho’s interest in dancing. He’d told him about it a few times, mostly when San had his face in a book and could only lend a single ear. There was really no excuse for it honestly and he wouldn’t try to make one. Still, San had no idea he was so good. This was the first time he’d see him in a “professional” setting and his body couldn’t decide whether he was excited or nervous. 

“I have to go get ready for the battle. Will you be alright by yourself?” Mingi asked.

“I’m a big kid,” he laughed. “I can handle it.” 

Mingi gave him a salute before heading off towards a black van aligned with the performance area. San waited a few seconds after he disappeared behind it before making his way over to the growing crowd. He peeked over shoulders and around bodies to see what was happening. The dance floor was normal concrete like everything else, the only difference being red ropes to section it off from everyone. It kept the crowd at bay if their energy got a little too high while also offering a good size dance floor for those meant to be performing. 

At the moment, the dance floor was occupied. The dancer was on the smaller side but even with just a glance, San could tell they were amazing. Blonde hair sticking to their forehead, they spun around to face him, their eyes locking despite the other people between them. His back stiffened but the look only lasted a moment before the dancer went back to their routine.

Just as quickly as it began, it was over. 

The blonde dancer offered a bow, lips parted as they fought to catch their breath. They threw a wave to the crowd, followed by a cheeky wink, before they disappeared behind the car. A shout of  _ ‘Hwanwoong!’ _ followed close behind.

It wasn’t long before someone else took his place. Short, like the blonde dancer, only with a dark undercut and more piercings than San could count. He had rather intense eyes but his lips were quirked into the cockiest grin he’d ever seen. The man lifted a microphone, calling for the crowd to settle down as he scanned the crowd to gauge the level of excitement spilling into the night sky around him.

“How’s everyone doin’ tonight?” The man’s voice crackled over the speakers, music falling to half volume.

The crowd roared around him. 

“Who’s ready for the main event?” Another cheer cut him off. “Yeah? I don’t think you’re ready.” Another round of cheering escalated around him, somehow louder than before, and the announcer smiled. “Now _ that’s _ more like it.”

The cheering settled only for a moment before someone stepped around the screen separating the dancefloor from the makeshift dressing room. It was Mingi, his outfit replaced with simple black pants and a matching black jacket. Yunho emerged from the opposite end, dressed in a matching outfit. Sound exploded in his ears and San understood that the two of them were a crowd favorite. San felt a little disappointed in himself. He’d never noticed or even known that Yunho was part of such a thing. The other man hid it well even if he wasn’t trying to. Maybe he thought San would judge him, or maybe it just slipped his mind. Either way, the energy of the crowd around him was building excitement within his own body.

“Defending their title yet again are none other than Mingi and Yunho! They’ve prepared a special treat for you guys tonight!”

Another roar from the crowd before the track spilling through the speakers changed, amping back up to a high sound. It drowned out the crowd and sent a vibration all the way through the concrete and through San’s very bones. 

Before him, Mingi and Yunho began to move. 

San wasn’t sure how they did it but their bodies became fluid. They fell into perfect sync, moving with the music unlike anything he’d ever seen. If their faces had been covered, San truthfully wouldn’t be able to tell them apart. The way they moved was unreal, ethereal almost, and he felt the world narrow around him. Yunho’s brow was furrowed, eyes bright with the fire singing through his veins. His body moved with fervor and San could see just how happy dancing made him, to say nothing of the way it likely made him feel. He looked … alive. 

His frame trembled in the presence of the power performance before him. San completely tuned out the music and the crowd, his world growing small until all he could focus on was Yunho. 

And, just as quickly as it began, it was over.

Yunho and Mingi slowly came to a halt, their chests heaving as they sucked in welcome breaths of air. Sweat glistened along their temples, Yunho glancing around the crowd until his eyes landed upon him. They met through the crowd and a smile bloomed on Yunho’s face, light sparkling in pretty brown depths and his hand raising into a wave. The crowd cheered but San knew it was meant for him.

In the noise of the crowd, he dared to whisper it, and this time he didn’t shy away. Just three words, lost in the excitement around him, and that cemented everything.

“I love you.”

—————— xxx —————

San blew a bit of hot air into his hands, rubbing them together. Excess breath curled into the night sky, illuminated by the streetlight he was standing next to. The mounds of snow around him were nearly waist high, a record amount for this particular area. It was cold outside too, the only thing keeping his fingers relatively warm being his own breath and a pair of thin gloves. 

He was waiting for the bus, the last one of the evening, so he could head home for Christmas. It was already twenty minutes late and the snow was still falling. The storm had settled at least, night air calm while flakes of snow continued to drift down and add to the various piles around him. Staff and nearly ninety-eight percent of the student body had already headed out the previous day. San could’ve left yesterday but he’d had to work late at the store, leaving him to get caught by the snowstorm. Now he wasn’t sure he’d be able to get home in time for Christmas.

San pulled out his phone and traced his unlock pattern with a shaky finger. The clock now read 9:28, nearly thirty minutes after the bus was scheduled to arrive. The next bus didn’t leave until Monday, the day after Christmas. Around him, the snow continued to fall, and San craned his head back to stare into the cloudy sky. His hand came down to rest upon the handle of his suitcase, the plastic so cold it leached through his gloves. 

“This blows,” he grumbled. The semester had been such a confusing mess of feelings that he’d been looking forward to spending time away from classes and studying for a week. Now he wouldn’t be able to get there in time. A two day ride there and a two day ride back would only allow him a total of three days with family and only a single day of relaxation with his grandparents. Unfortunately, he’d just have to try for next year since he highly doubted anyone would be up for driving in these conditions. Roads were likely awful. 

His phone dinged, indicating a notification. It was an email, announcing the cancellation of all evening bus routes. San’s shoulders sagged, the confirmation of his worries sucking what energy he had left for the evening from him. 

“You’re doing an awful lot of huffing over here,” someone said, the voice startling him amid the quiet of snow. 

San turned his head to see who it was, eyes growing wide. His grip tightened on his phone, snowflakes clinging to the arms of his coat. “... Yunho?”

Yunho smiled softly, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jacket. “Waiting for the bus?”

“Was.” He sighed. “Just got an email saying all routes are cancelled.” His fingers fiddled with the suitcase handle.

“Damn, that sucks. Because of the snow I’m guessing,” Yunho replied.

San nodded, glancing in the direction of the dorms. “Looks like I’m here for the holidays. Lucky me.” 

“Well you’re not alone in that.” Yunho jerked his thumb towards the right. “Brakes broke about halfway out of town and no shops will be open until Monday.”

“You wanna hangout at my place then? Roommate’s gone until late next week,” he offered without thinking. There was a pause before he continued. “I have hot chocolate and marshmallows. You know, if you say yes.” 

Yunho laughed. “I would’ve said yes with or without hot chocolate.”

San blinked dumbly for a moment, the gears turning in his brain as he attempted to puzzle together what he meant; Yunho didn’t let him finish his conclusion.

“Oh, um, that reminds me.” He slung his bag from his shoulder, San watching him as he thrust his arm into it and began digging around. “I picked this up yesterday and, well, thought I wouldn’t be able to give it to you until the holidays. It’s your Christmas gift.”

His heart squeezed in panic. San had completely forgotten to buy him anything, wrapped up completely in studying and work that his freetime had been literally non-existent for a month. “Y-yunho … I don’t hav—”

“Don’t worry about it, honest. This is just something I’ve been wanting to give you for awhile now.” Yunho held something out. A rectangular object wrapped in blue wrapping paper patterned with snowflakes. He’d even tied a white ribbon around it. 

San just stared at it for a moment. After a few seconds, his hand finally raised, gloves brushing against the side of Yunho’s gift. Yunho pushed it towards him gently and San finally dared to accept it, letting go of his suitcase to hold it tenderly between his hands. 

“Well? Open it,” Yunho prompted gently.

He took a deep breath, wishing he could melt into a puddle and disappear. San was excited for the gift of course but he also felt an overwhelming surge of guilt about not getting anything in return. Tentatively, he began to pick at the paper and unwrap his gift. Tearing through it finally revealed a black box, a golden engraving of a flower in the center. San traced the edge before popping it open, exhaling into the freezing night air. 

It was a rolled up paper, a necklace made of silver wrapped around the center. The pendant hanging from the center was simple, a crescent moon with a little green stone embedded in the center, but it was beautiful. San fought against the sudden tears in his eyes and reached inside, lifting the paper free. He closed the box and tucked it beneath his arm, sliding the necklace free so he could check out the paper. 

He froze.

_ There’s no way. There’s no fucking way. _

San unrolled it with trembling fingers. It slid into two different pages, one he knew all too well, and one that was foreign to him.

“... How did you get this?” He whispered, watching snowflakes slide down the paper.

“Read it first,” Yunho replied softly.

San’s heart began to hammer in his chest, his eyes snapping to the first word upon the note.

_ ‘San. _

_ I’ve spent years trying to figure out how to word this. I know things haven’t been easy for you; they never have been. You’ve been so strong, so brave, all on your own. You’ve never asked for help or dared let anyone in, and I’m sorry for taking so long in giving you this. You’ve deserved better, so much better, and I spent years watching you grow up while I felt so childish in comparison. _

_ I saw you that day, the day you were going to place the letter in my locker. I picked it out of the trash after you threw it away and I’ve kept it close to my heart ever since. The longer I waited to bring it up, the longer it took me to try and approach you about it. Before I knew it, we were in college and you were working so hard and living your life how you wanted to. You looked so happy, and I didn’t want to ruin anything.  _

_ I guess what I’m trying to say is this …’  _

The letter faded from view, San’s eyes welling from tears. He knew there was more but he needed a moment before he could properly focus, tears falling down his cheeks. San sniffled, scrubbing at his eyes with the cold sleeve of his coat.

“I wanted to give it to you when you got back but … seeing you here, so dejected about the bus … I knew it was time.” Yunho sounded so distant, so far away, even though San knew he was closer than ever. “I love you. Have loved you, for years, and I’m so, so sorry it took me this long to tell you. You deserve better.”

“There’s no one better,” San answered immediately, staring down at the letter once more; he wasn’t sure he was ready to look at Yunho yet. “It’s still you. It’s  _ always _ been you.”

“I know,” Yunho murmured, “I know.” Hands hovered into view, sliding beneath his own and cradling them gently. “You make me want to scream and shout from the rooftops. Whenever I’m around you, I’m so damn happy. You give me energy just by being here. I know you might not see it, spending so many years thinking yourself unlovable, but I’m being honest.” 

“I know you are.” San finally broke through his one-sided staring contest, lifting his gaze to meet Yunho’s. Their eyes, both wet with tears, were illuminated by the streetlight they were standing under. “I … I hope I was worth waiting for.”

Yunho moved closer, hands sliding to his elbows. “I’d wait for you forever if I had to.” 

“You can’t just say things like that,” San cried, burying his face into Yunho’s jacket. 

“I know how much you love romance novels.” Arms slid around his back, pulling him close. “That was from the heart though, not a book.”

“I’d remember a line like that,” he answered, voice muffled. “But …” And he paused, taking a deep breath. Now that he could finally say it without worry, now that he finally had the chance, the words felt heavier than ever. San worried at his lip for a moment. “I love you too, Yunho. I’ve loved for so long, and I’ve wanted to say it for even longer.”

Fingers stroked reassuringly against his back. “You can say it as many times as you want to, if you’ll let me stay.” 

San laughed shakily, working through his tear-stuffy nose. “You have to stay; I owe you hot chocolate, remember? And a gift.”

“I’ll stay for as long as you want, San. I promise.” 

“That won’t be long if we stand out here in the freezing cold much longer,” San teased.

Yunho laughed, the sound reverberating through his chest, deep and hearty; he wanted nothing more than to hear it again. “Then let’s go inside and warm up with some hot chocolate.”

“A good idea,” he answered, untangling himself from Yunho. His hand landed upon the handle of his suitcase and he smiled quietly to himself. “Hey Yunho?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too, San.”

And he knew he’d never get tired of those words.

**Author's Note:**

> find me on twt [@moonswallowed](https://twitter.com/moonswallowed) (18+ pls) for more content!
> 
> thank you for reading!!


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